Monday, November 23, 2009

Mind Body Connection

Friday, I was fighting an anxiety attack pretty much all day. As the day wore on, I was finding it more and more difficult to keep on top of it and catch my breath. I came home and went to bed early with the hope that I would wake up feeling better.

Saturday morning, I woke up feeling like poopie shit and really sad. I don't have anything terrible or stressful going on. So, I couldn't sort out why I was feeling like this. I'm a little stressed about money (usual), but basically I just felt like I hated everything. I missed my dad, I missed my Pepere, I missed the dog, everything sucked, and I hated everything.

I get to acupuncture and I tell Keri that I think I need the "ear needles" today. She does these whenever I tell her I'm anxious or sad. She also added a few other ones... in my arms I think. As she's working, she tells me that she could tell as soon as I walked in that something wasn't right. She may have even described it as an energy field or an aura, but I can't remember. It was something to that effect.

So, I'm sitting there feeling crabby. About 10 minutes goes by, and I get that burning feeling in the back of my throat and my eyes just start pouring tears. Very much without my permission, I am a crying mess in the middle of the treatment room. There's a cute old man playing with his phone -- thankfully he doesn't appear to notice that I'm crying. I cried for an hour just sitting there. Keri comes to check on me and I say, "What have you done to me?!?!"

So, she says, "sometimes you just have to let the cry out to feel better." Then she proceeded to sing part of this song to me:

She tells me that sometimes the needles just help to bring these things to the surface so that we can let them go. It was one of the strangest things that has ever happened to me. She also sent me home with a bottle of "hysterical woman" herbs. The last 3 days, I have felt better than I have in a long time. I don't know if it was the needles, the crying, or the pills, and dammit! I don't care!

I proceeded to cry all the way home. When I was finally able to pull myself together, I had been crying for an hour and a half! I almost NEVER cry. It's not that I try not to cry, I just don't need to. Unless I'm pissed. I ALWAYS CRY when I'm REALLY mad. It's like my emotional output wire harness got wired up all wrong. Saturday was a very strange day. I ended up climbing on the roof and putting up the Christmas lights. I'm afraid of heights. I have no idea what got into me.

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