Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Getting Into Trouble

How does your spouse/significant other feel about your blogging?  Are certain topics just off limits, no matter what?

What if your blog is anonymous?  Are the things you share still limited?  Or are you allowed to share freely since no one knows who you are?

My blog, I think, has only a handful of readers that I actually know in real life.  I can name all of them on two hands.  These people are people that I would share with openly and freely about anything that I put on my blog and then some.  However, I don't share my blog with most people that I know.  I use this as a space to vent, to talk about things that I may need feedback about, but that I don't necessarily want to share with everyone I know.  I don't link to my posts on Facebook and I don't talk openly about the fact that I blog.

In my mind, my blog is fairly anonymous.  My name is shared with probably about a million people out there since you can't really get any more generic than the name Jenny.  I don't list my exact location.  I generally just try to fly under the radar.  For a number of reasons, I choose to remain mostly anonymous-ish.  Partly because I don't want my employer and friends and family to know that I'm trying to conceive until I've achieved it.  I also don't want to have to feel that I need to censor myself too much.
Do you and your spouse/significant other have differing ideas of what is, and should be kept, private?  Have you gotten yourself into trouble for over sharing?

Some of the conversations that I've had recently, were conversations that I understood were private.  Under normal circumstances the content of these conversations would be kept between me and the other party.  However, due to the anonymous nature of my blog, I spoke about something that the other party found to be too private to share.  In my mind, since this was anonymous it wasn't as if I broke confidence.  I also didn't get into the meat of the conversation, but merely made reference to something that was said.  I was trying to process the conversation for my own purposes and honestly didn't really think twice about sharing what I did. 

Of course, I felt terrible that they felt uncomfortable about what I wrote, but at the same time I had a difficult time understanding what the harm was since I didn't identify the person.  Though, anyone who knows me IRL would know who it was, but again, the only people that have this blog IRL are people I would process with anyway.  Though, I would likely not get into deep detail -- nor did I get into detail on the blog either.  So, I did write with that in mind.

I totally get where this person is coming from now and I suppose a confidence, is a confidence, no matter the medium and no matter whether or not identity is revealed. I was viewing this through my own lens.  I did stop to think about the things I was saying before I posted, but I determined no harm, when no one knows who you are.  I should have thought from both perspectives before publishing that post.

Have you ever gotten into tricky territory with your posts and have you had some "'splainin' to do?"

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